Sunday, 25 March 2012

But how do you look at the girl you love, and tell yourself it's time to walk away?" -  --  The Vow

The Vow

I chose to stay with him for all the things he had done right and not to leave him because of the only thing he had done wrong. 

this is part of the quote from the vow movie. honestly this quote make me stop and think again and again.

have u ever wonder the power of forgiveness?
 sometimes it will bring happiness to us and sometimes vice versa. perhaps I am too forgiving and it's easy for me to forgive any mistakes even if it hurts.
but have you wondered if you made a mistake and never be forgiven?
it hurts. especially if you're trying to make it right back but they just ignore u.
I previously had thought that people will forgive my mistake like I have forgive them. but now I realize that not everyone is able to forgive our mistakes.

 i keep asking myself what if there's no forgiveness for me. would u leave me, would u stop me from walk away or would u wait for me to said something?

think back bout the quote will u leave someone because of his/her mistake? if u timbang tara and segala mcm benda thn u get the answer that he/she had done all the things right compare to the only thing he/she had done wrong? will u leave?
life give us so much to remember. and one of them that i've learned is i might too forgiven but maybe i wont received it back even once in my life.

it's not the thing happened that hurt me, but what hurt me the most is when there's no forgiveness for me when i've made mistake. people walk away when i need them the most. i might being such a disrespectful person at my worse, when i stress but yeah..this is me. sometimes i think, y u leave when i need u the most. y u never stop me when i walk away.but i don't get the answer.

the quote from this movie make me think is there someone who will stay with me for the thing i had done wrong? or i'm the one who didn't appreciate what people had done to me til they leave?.
sigh..nampak serabut kan? :)

but then.i've learned something.
it's break u apart when they do not forgive u.

dear people who i had done mistake,
thanks, i learned much from u. u might think that i'm not appreciate u. but honestly, u r the best thing
happen in my life.
i make mistake but i've try my best to seek ur forgiveness and maybe its not good enough for u.
and now i'm done trying. :(
i'm sorry. i just give up. cause it's enough to hold my tears. it's enough to come and see u but didn't get ur forgiveness.
if something meant to happen one day, i wish it could bring us back together. til that time.
what choice i have besides keep walk out from ur life.

"Leo: I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other." -  --  The Vow

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

As I graduated and having my own responsibilities toward my life,
i learned so much about how to put and give my strength in order to motivate myself
it's not that easy you know, for u to build your own life, to get a thing that u like and
having fun with what u doing right now.
there is the time i think this life is much easier when i was a student which even though we had a lots
of things to do, we still had  time to sleep, having gossip time with friends, for sport and etc.
Now what i feel is 24 hours are not enough for me. i work for 12 hours or more than that
sometimes. Who expect their life gonna be super duper busy like this one day.
It is not easy for me to motivate myself actually. to woke up early in the morning and work til late nite.
so much thing i need to think and put on my shoulder.
this is life.
it is so easy to be our own enemy. and it's also hard to depend on people when you need them.
i've come to the thought that I need to start becoming my own bestfriend.
It takes looking inside my heart to see and find my flaws.
We all have flaws. there's no doubt about it, but we all have something amazing about us too..
that what make me difference from u, from others.
sometimes when im alone all i think is how to make myself better. how to make thing get better.
I dun even know how i've been thru all the hardest time happened in my life.
til now, i don't even know how im being positive about everything happened.
life isn't easy. u and me. doesn't matter who u r. we have our own problem.
which bring us down. which fall us into pieces.
there is the time when i hold my tears too much and i just can't say anything
because if i do, i will give up easily.
No one know about ourselves or not even one care too hear about your problem everyday,
here i tried too keep everything inside and being positive.
i do post ridiculous thing on my wall. i do said i hate my job. but there are another things
that i keep deep inside.
and honestly when i use to give up.
my heart and brain gonna pick me up and say
"there are lot of peoples out there, have their own stories and hardest part"
don't just give up and maybe what u face know are much more easier thn others out there.
if they are able to live their life.
y don't u.
yeah..that's my heart and brain. they are so positive and they make me strong to live this life.
Believe in Allah SWT. He won't test u with something that u are not afford to do.
May Allah bless me. Amin.


Monday, 9 January 2012

From Heart to Heart

u know,it's not easy for me to move on. not only me but i think most of girls out there.
to move on and forgive it easy for me.
to move on and forget its the hardest part.
i ain't like who i am before. the one who really easy to forget and let it go.
i'd been hurt before and that take courage for me to get into relationship too fast.
but im falling right after 3 or 4 month he left me.
to this one guy who had heartbroken and really tried his hard to get close to me.
when i realize i fall to him,actually i knw it's not the right time for me n for him neither.
but it just happened.
when i was there when he is hurt. told me he is sick. told me how much his love to his ex,
told me how hard his life at that time.
look at him, i saw how hurt a guy could be when he love his girl too much.
and i compared to myself who love a guy too much and been broken by him without says goodbye,
how lucky his ex to have him.
yeah..i can see his flaw. a bit childish, cant make right decision sometimes, have his anger, and definitely ego.
it's just happened one day. Maybe because i've no one at that time. maybe i'd spend too much time
with him and i falling a bit by bit.
Now it's been more than a years he with me. Honestly, he change a lot.
from a guy who not even care bout me to a guy who willing to do anything for me.
tell me im lucky enough to stay through the storm he created before.
I know his flaw, i know his past. but i always believe to the turning point.
U know,it's make right person to change someone to be better person.
and i don't even put high expectation for him to accept the way i am.
But to received high respect from him, that what im proud to have him in my life.
yes. i forgive him for everything he had done to me.
but honestly, it is hard for me to forget every single word every person had said to me.
as well as him.
i don't know if this is my weakness to remember every moments in my life.
but sometimes i pray hard to let me happy with what i receive in present..
i'm thankful for him. to put his effort to give his everything to show me how much he love me.
but i just can't help my insecurity and keep "ungkit" the past.
and i feel sorry for him cause have to work hard for this.
insecurity kill girls. yeah. they are killing me now.
i scared about everything. in fact when we created happy moments i will stop smile and said
i scared if the same thing happen again.
i know he is bit frust with me when i keep remind the old him.
and im sorry for him n my self cause im still not able to forget the past.
my life messed up lately till i get tired with people surrounding me.
but he is there now. willing to make me happy.
he put an effort to be there when im not able to smile.
i know this is not a right thing for me to do. to hurt him by his mistakes.
i know i don't get any other guy,better thn him.
i ain't say because i have him now n i too confidence this relationship will last.
but for this time im the most lucky girl to get this love.
and i pray hard it will be forever. til the end.

-thanks for everything azwan azlan, u r the one.
 and i appreciate every single breath u r with me.

<3 rarra_elyssa

Sunday, 24 July 2011

I miss u FARAH.

kadang2, ada mase bile kite pandang kebelakang ade byk benda yg happen dalam hidup kita..
jujurnya semakin meningkat usia ni,
makin banyak benda yang buat kita lupa diri kita yang dulu..

membesar sebagai kanak2 dikampung buat sy berbangga dengan segala kenangan yang ada,
dari menangguk ikan dalam longkang yang penuh dengan air warna hitam
tanpa fikir ada ular sawa yg selalu je terserempak dengan kami hinggalah bermain kejar2 dengan roller blade
sampai koyak lutut :)
jujurnya sy memang sangat nakal dan lasak masa kecik..tak pernah fikir apa yang saya buat tu
bahaya dan akan memudaratkan diri sendiri..
tak silap sy sampai umur 11 tahun baru sy reti duduk rumah tanpa main kejar2 dekat tgh taman
semuanya jadi sebab sy jatuh daripada atas gelongsor yang tinggi dan cedera..yup..hampir lumpuh masa
tu..berkat urut dari nenek kat kampung tu, sy sembuh..sejak tu insaf..tak main lg dah..
dan setahun lepas tu kami pindah di rumah sy sekarang ini..

membesar di rumah baru, tiada kawan..sampai sekarang pon - 12 tahun- sy tidak berkawan dgn mereka di kawasan rumah sy ini..bukan sebab sombong..tak..sikit pon tak..
cuma keadaan sy membesar,sgt berbeza dgn mereka disini..mereka disini lebih advance dlm segala benda..
tetapi sy hanya tahu bilik dan halaman rumah sy..
tambah pula sy bersekolah di sekolah yg berlainan dr mereka yg ada di kawasan ni..
dari seorang yang aktif dan lasak, sy berubah kepada dia yg pasif..
tapi dekat sekolah, sy tetap mcm pelajar yg lain..ttp aktif dgn sukan dan camping yg sekolah anjurkan..
cuma bila balik,dunia sy adalah keluarga,buku catatan dan kucing2 sy..
katalah sy sebagai org yg tak ade life..:) sy sgt bersyukur dgn keadaan ini..

kenapa? sebab membesar dalam keadaan ni - buat sy jauh dr segala godaan dunia luar sana..
tiada nite life mcm yg dibanggakan oleh gadis2 kat luar sana...
tiada masa utk melepak
tiada hidup yg terumbang ambing..
dunia hujung minggu sy adalah - BPL..bola sepak adalah dunia sy..hujung minggu menyaksikan
perlawanan yg bersusun mmg sgt menghiburkan hati :)
kelebihan sebagai anak tauke tak pernah sy sia2 kan..
mengemas rumah dan memasak mmg da lame masuk dlm jiwa..
tetapi kelebihan sy mmg lebih kepada mengemas rumah. sememangnya tangan sy adalah antara
yang paling laju dalam memastikan semua benda dlm rumah ni tersusun..
ma pula akan sentiasa pastikan semua ank perempuan dia ade kat dapur bila tiba waktu masak..
kata2 ma yg selalu sy pegang -
terima kasih ma..:) mmg itu pengajaran yg mmg plg berguna.

tipu kalau tak pernah bercinta :) masa sekolah..itu cinta monyet org bg sy - itu ttp cinta pertama
sy :) 2 tahun bersama tapi pengakhirannya bkn sesuatu yg mampu buat sy tersenyum..
lepas first love yg hancur berkecai tu :) 6 tahun sy hidup sendiri..i mean - single :)
bukan sbb jual mahal, ada lelaki yg sy suka..tapi byk benda yg buat sy berpatah balik utk melangkah semula kealam bercinta.

jujurnya selama 6 tahun, tak pernah sedikit pon sy rasa kekurangan..ada masa sy sedih, tapi kebanyakan hari sy lebih banyak ketawa dan tersenyum..pernah ada kwn yg kata pada sy - cemburu tgk kau Farah, happy je..:)
bercinta buat kali kedua buat sy gembira..tetapi ditinggalkan tanpa alasan, - buat sy hampir hilang arah..Farah yg dulunya sentiasa tersenyum - jatuh bedebuk mcm tupai tersalah step :) pelajaran merosot, tiap2 malam tidur dgn air mata..even cuba tersenyum - semuanya jelas nampak palsu..tapi berkat sokongan kawan2 yg tak pernah putus, mampu bgkit semula..

Jujurnya, sy tak dapat menolak kehadiran dia banyak membantu sy melupakan kisah lame yg xde happy ending :) kami juga tidak bermula dengan baik. tetapi kesabaran sy, semangat dia utk teruskan apa yg dah kami mulakan- Alhamdulillah..kami dah smpai tahap ni..banyak benda dah berubah..dan jujur sy bangga dgn usaha yg dia dah buat utk memperbaiki diri dia..

tapi, setiap permulaan mesti ada penghujungnya..sama ada baik atau x..kita kena terima..doakan kebahagiaan kami..masih byk yg perlu kita baiki..

apa maksud sy yang sy rindukan Farah dekat sini ialah - sy rindu Farah yg sentiasa tahu apa dia mahukan..dan sy rindukan Farah yg sentiasa hyper buat org lain tersenyum..

*maaf, coretan kali ni agak menjiwa :)


Monday, 18 July 2011

Perempuan vs Period!

sooorryy blog-lame tak update! mmg bersawang2 la da blog ni..harapan nk update blog ari2 mcm tggl harapan je kan :P tular..bila da penat ape2 pon tak boleh :)
berbalik kepada tajuk,
Ok!tajuk mmg agak sensitive..ade kena pelangkung kalau cakap open depan org
tua about this. but good for us, especially to guys who want to know about masalah perempuan
bila dieowg period.
eh ke sy je yg mcm ni? :P hurmm..tatau la..but then i think,almost every girls ade mslh ni..
it's like when the time close to ur period time, beside u akan face period pain yg yeah,
mampu membuat kite berguling2 tergolek dr katil, atau menahan sakit mcm dlm gmbr ni,

kita jugak akan menghadapi swing mood..betul x?betul x? ok..

mcm sy la..this is the time yg semua benda tak kena..mula la nk marah,nak cari pasal.
siap sedia la sape yg bakal berkahwin dgn org2 yg mcm sy ni..kalau korg sume bkn pakar
sakit puan, mmg kesabaran plg tinggi di perlukan..:)

kadang2, benda yg tak logik pon - korg akan tgk die mengamuk2 tak tentu pasal..mase tu mesti pelik
bin ajaib tgk si perempuan ni..
siape yg tak sabar,mmg alamatnye-end of everything kot..friendship,relationship or ape2 ship la :p

contoh mcm ni - bila perempuan or gf korg tengah swing mood (it happen suddenly ok..korg takkan boleh nak bau2 dulu )

BF: you, i tak boleh keluar dgn you ari ni, my mum ajak i keluar.
GF: huhh? u cakap nak keluar dgn i! u dah janji dah! sampai ati uuuU!!huuuu..!!
BF: you, tu Mak i u..
GF: Mak u ke u nak kuar dgn perempuan lain? hahhh?
BF: Mak i laa..u ni apehal?
GF: yang u nak kasar2 dengan i ni kenapa?
BF: dah u tu fikir yang bukan2 je! i tension la mcm ni..!
GF: bila i fikir bukan2?i tanyekan! itu pon nak jwb kasar2 ke? ok fine! kita putus!
BF: ok! bye!

see, nampak tak mcm mane benda ni boleh bagi kesan?bila si bf mula bercakap kasar, yg gf pon takkan tgh swing mood kan?mmg x kan hadoo la die nk beralah :P kadang2 benda bf tak ckp kasar pon kite akan rasa die ckp kasar..complicated kan?

utk mengelakkan sume benda ni,actually it's simple..
jgn tambah minyak dalam api..yeahh..i know..guys mmg with their own ego. aite? kdg2 da sabar2
tu, terlepas jgk marah die kat gf die ke,adek die ke, bini die ke..
tp don't make it worst..when u start marah that girl,actually that is the time yg die akan fikir mcm2..
girl in this condition, they feel insecure...i dunno..siape yg tade pnykt bermasalah mcm ni,
well lucky u girls :)

kdg2 perempuan ni, this is not what we ask..kite tak minx pon nk ade swing mood bile this time datang..
kan?kdg2 nk marah diri sendiri pon ade..nape mcm ni?nape kita kena mcm ni? kan?
dulu..mase awl2 akil baligh pon, x penah la sy rasa SWING MOOD makin besar,
tiba2 this thing happen..kadang2 bile ddk sorg2 fikir balik,ape aku buat td..omg..
aku da lepas cakap..tak sengaja :( kita tak boleh tarik balik..thing happen.kita tak sengaja..
thats y, sy cakap perlukan lelaki yg betul2 memahami apa kita rasa..kalau tak..
mmg end of everything..

girls are COMPLICATED..ok,if die tak ade penyakit mcm ni pon..
lain pulak perangai die yg korg nk kena i rite guys? :D heee..
so,apa2 pon situasi..harap ade pihak yg sabar dan memahami..
kadang2 u just need to ask her, what happen? its enough..just listen to her..
atau kalau korg agak2 susah nk paham die ni..korg amek calendar..
buat la kajian tiap brape ari bulan korg bakal face this thing..masa tu prepare la ape2..
atau pon avoid dr buat dia rase marah,insecure atau ape2 je..
sbb masa ni la..perempuan ni sensitive yg tak agak2..:)
so-good luck guys! wish u all the best..kalau takde girl yg perangai mcm ni, so u r damn lucky!

ok bye!happy reading :)

Friday, 1 July 2011

Cool Blog Vs Each a Cup :)

hye readers and bloggers :)
ok..termiss 1 ari nak update blog ni..
first thing first,thanks to followers yg meningkat setiap hari..:)
ok la kan? permulaan yg baik bg penulis baru mcm sy ni..

hari ni nk cerita pasal favorite ice blended and juice sy :)
korg mesti da biase kan kalau pegi shopping complex then jumpe
dgn kedai2 yg jual ice blended ni..
ade 2 choice,which is u can choose cool blog or each a cup..
for now yg sy tau..agak susah sket nk cr each a cup ni..
tp cool blog mostly ade kt mane2 shopping complex..
and im totally addicted with both ice blended dr cool blog n each a cup..
pantang nampak!x kira la kalau masa tu baru lepas minum air coke sebotol pon,
sanggup pegi beli jugak ice blended ni..
lps tu paham2 la..2 minit sekali pegi tandas :P

kalau nk bandingkan dua2 company yg jual ice blended ni,
x jauh beza..almost semua ice blended yg dieowg jual hampir same pilihannye..
bg saya,ice blended yg wajib sy minum is chocolate oreo..
utk comparekan dua2 rase dr cool blog n each a cup..
sy lg prefer each a cup utk chocolate sadly..
ssh nk cr each a cup dekat area2 shopping complex yg sy pegi..tsskk..T.T
kena la gantikan dgn cool tape..asl dapat minum,redah je tekak ni..
ape kate kalau korg,try both ice blended ni..
for me,its worth it la..kalau nk minum slalu ice kalau kite pegi
starbucks -.- nk minum pon rase takut2 sbb rase mcm membazir byr 15/16 ringgit utk
frappucino..mmg la taste jauh at least blh hilangkan rase kempunan ta dapat minum
starbucks kan?kan? :) and plus u blh add pearl and jelly utk air korg :)

so,get one and tryla.owhh..da mcm promoter pulak :P
check it out dkt website dieowg and choose korg pnye favorite ice blended..
both ade mcm2 range dr smoothie, milkshake and so on..

utk each a cup..
click kat sini ->
and this one utk
cool blog ->

ape lg..cuba laa!